Social-Emotional Development At 7 - 9 Months

Your baby has begun crawling and his newfound mobility allows him to take more active part in family life. His physical developments are accompanied by some major emotional and social developmental milestones in these months. Day by day, his own unique personality emerges more and more. During this stage, many parents may find themselves dealing with a ‘superglue baby’ who cries when you are out of sight and literally sticks to you, especially when around strangers.

Here are some of the social-emotional achievements milestones in this age group although you should keep in mind that babies progress at different rates:

The Seventh Month

You will enjoy your baby! He is often joyful, and expresses his delight readily. Baby also expresses other emotions in a stronger way than before. For example, he may be quick to display his displeasure at a situation he dislikes.

His communication skills are expanding rapidly and his social ‘speech’ now includes squeals, bubbling sounds, babbling and tone changes. You will hear more distinct speech comprising consonant-vowel combinations (e.g. ba, ma, ga). When interacting socially, baby responds to your tone and the inflections in your speech, your emotions and gestures. But he is also beginning to link simple words meanings, such as the meaning of ‘no’.

Your baby continues to love social interactions tremendously and may initiate them by gesturing, sticking out his tongue or coughing to get your attention. He, however, prefers interacting with you and familiar people as he is starting to withdraw from strangers.

It is occurring to baby that he is a separate person from mummy. He is intrigued when he sees himself in the mirror. While he may not quite understand that the mirror image is him yet, he is excited about the effects he can make on the mirror, such as waving his hand and smiling.

The Eight Month

Baby is able to clearly recognise familiar people such as family members, and can differentiate them from people he does not know. He shows his obvious pleasure to familiar people, such as by cooing, giving them smiles or even throwing them a kiss.

Your baby cries when you leave the room and he cannot see you. It is a reflection of his attaining the important cognitive milestone of object permanence. As your little one’s memory centre develops, he now remembers objects and specific people that are not present. He can conjure up a mental image of the person or object when it is not physically there, and actively searches for them. Emotionally, he becomes anxious when his primary caregiver is out of sight and this reflects the powerful attachment he has formed with his caregiver.

With strangers, baby has become uneasy, shy and even fearful. He may burst into tears when someone new holds her. Besides this ‘stranger anxiety’, your baby also shows another step forward in emotional development. He not only senses the feelings of others and responds to them, he may go on to display initial stirrings of empathy. For example, baby may cry when he hears someone crying.

The Ninth Month

Your little one is quite a character! Your baby’s own personality would have emerged by now. For instance, a baby may be easy-going by nature while another’s temperament is feisty or sensitive.

Expect baby to express his emotions intensely as he has yet to learn to regulate them. This is exacerbated by his developing individuality. He is displaying a stronger mind of his own, so you may find protesting loudly at being buckled up in the car seat or wriggling hard when being changed. His desires may not coincide with yours, and his tiny starts coming across loud and clear!

Baby will continue to be wary of strangers. He likes to play near his caregiver, such as in the kitchen where mummy is cooking. Your baby may be more sensitive to the presence of other children but is not likely to want to play with them yet.

Not only does baby’s awareness of people increase, he is noticing his surroundings with another level of awareness, too. You may find your baby becoming frightened by things that did not bother him before, such as jumping when the doorbell rings. He needs you to comfort him but has started to learn to soothe himself by sucking his thumb or holding a special toy or blanket.

Bedwetting

Bedwetting, also known as nocturnal enuresis, is common among pre-schoolers. If you check with your mum, she might reveal that you too passed urine during sleep when you were young.

That’s because genetics can play a role in bedwetting as it has been found that there is a greater incidence of bedwetting in children whose parents had done the same. If both parents had a positive family history, the child will have 77 per cent chance of enuresis and if one parent had bedwetting history, there will be a 44per cent chance.

More Common In Boys

Bedwetting is more common in boys than girls since boys develop slower physically. A slow developing bladder muscle contracts and passes out the urine when the bladder is only half full. Large quantities of urine can be produced at night due to a lower ADH (anti-diuretic hormone) level since the mechanism that tells the body to produce less urine during sleep isn’t fully developed yet.

Furthermore, these children often sleep so deeply that they are not aware of the message sent to the brain, and therefore did not respond when the bladder is full. But rest assured that this type of bedwetting will be outgrown with time as your child develops physically.

Other Causes

Caffeinated sodas such as Coke and Pepsi have a diuretic effect which increase urine output. Thus avoid letting your child drink large amounts of fluid, in particular sodas, two hours before bedtime, so that the bladder can be fully emptied before sleep. But be sure that your child does not go to bed thirsty or dehydrated.

Your child may also wet the bed if he is stressed or emotionally upset during events such as separation of parents or entry to a new school. Chat with him about it and address the issue troubling him.

Dealing With It Naturally

Most kids outgrow bedwetting on their own. In the initial period, you may consider purchasing reusable or disposable absorbent undergarments and protect the bed with a moisture-proof mattress cover.

There are also discreet-looking diapers available that can get your child through this stage of development without embarrassing him. They look and feel just like a regular underwear, but are designed especially for bedwetting.

If your child is old enough, you can empower your child by involving him in the clean-up process. Keep clean pyjamas and bed-sheets by the bedside so that he can change if necessary. He can also help to carrying his soiled sheets to the laundry room in the morning. but be sure not to treat cleaning up as a punishment for the child.

In order to help him stay dry, you can also wake your child and help him to the bathroom right before you go to bed and periodically throughout the night. Lastly, bladder-stretching exercises can help your child develop greater bladder control. Ask your child to control urinating during the day by postponing it. The bladder can therefore learn to stretch and hold more urine at night.

Beat The Buzzer

If the problem still persists in older children above 7 years old, the use of a moisture alarm can help. The alarm consists of a sensor that attaches to the clothing and is set off when the child begins to wet the bed. Encourage your child to ‘beat the buzzer’ by waking up when there is an urge to urinate. If the alarm sounds, he should be taught to get out of bed and go to the toilet.

You can also provide a night light near the bed for easy movement. This slowly conditions the brain to respond appropriately during sleep. However, this method may cause sleep disturbances and stress. You should consider discussing with your doctor and explaining to your child before using it.

Medication

As a last resort, your doctor may prescribe medications such as imipramine (an antidepressant) which relaxes the bladder. The drug can cause serious side effects and needs to be closely monitored. Desmopressin, a synthetic version of the ADH, can also be taken as a nasal spray or tablet and helps the child to produce less urine.

While this medication is much safer than imipramine, it can still cause some side effects. Furthermore, medications provide short-term treatment but not a long-term cure. And bedwetting usually recurs when the medication is stopped. Therefore behavioural therapy is usually more helpful.

Esteem Issues

Children are often embarrassed by their bedwetting condition and tend to suffer from low self-esteem. Be aware that your child can be greatly affected by your attitude. Offer support and encouragement to reassure your child that the problem will get better in time.

You can even develop a reward system to encourage your child, such as stickers for the dry nights, and talk to him about the advantages of potty training to become a ‘big’ boy or girl.

You should let your child know that the problem is just a normal stage in life. Tell him that Mummy (or Daddy) also wet the bed when you were young.

Protecting your baby

Everything is in place, perfectly clean and in order, and then a beautiful, wailing, soiling baby arrives! The reason we have to be cautious around babies and young children is that they’re more susceptible to infections because their immune system isn’t fully developed. And germs can spread from babies to the rest of your family, too.

Since the beginning of time, germs have surrounded us – and today are no different despite all our modern conveniences. Germs exist on our bodies and clothes, in our water, air, food and soil, and virtually every surface we come into contact with. Whilst that sounds frightening, the majority of these germs will do us absolutely no harm. But when they are in the wrong place, at the wrong time, germs can cause serious illness. But that doesn’t mean living in a bubble!

First focus on these areas in your home:

• Toys, playpens, high chair and cots.
• Food preparation surfaces – Care must be taken to ensure these surfaces are clean when preparing your baby’s meals.
• Laundry – Baby’s clothing and cot linens, especially if they’ve come in contact with faeces or vomit, should be washed to at least 60 degrees Celsius. If the manufacture’s guidelines require a lower water temperature, consider adding a laundry disinfectant in order to ensure that all the germs are killed.
• The nursery – Pay close attention area to the nappy-changing area and ensure that this area is cleaned and disinfected immediately after use.
• Floors and furnishings – Particularly once your baby becomes more mobile and begins to explore your home.

Once this is taken care of, you need to take special care in the cleaning and sterilising anything that goes into your baby’s mouth, including feeding bottles and teats, pacifiers, teething aids and any other feeding equipment. Always wash your hands before handling these items. Make certain that your bottlebrush is clean, take bottles apart before cleaning and disinfecting and, when sterilising, follow the manufacturer’s instructions. Remember to use cooled boiled water to rinse off any solution.

That’s the home taken care of, but what about keeping your baby clean and healthy? Here are five key considerations.

1. Because your baby’s skin is delicate and quite vulnerable, it’s important to keep skin clean and dry, always making sure to change nappies as soon as they become wet or soiled.

2. When bathing your baby or cleaning during a nappy change, if the baby is less than one month old, use only clean warm water to wash baby’s skin. Babies older than a month can be washed using a mild baby soap and warm water – never hot. Always make sure to dry your baby’s skin thoroughly before putting on a new nappy.

3. Pay particular attention when changing nappies as germs can spread that can harm both of you. Once you’ve finished the nappy change, you should properly dispose of the dirty nappy, using a nappy bag and then place it in a separate plastic rubbish bag. If you’re using re-usable nappies, place the soiled nappy in a nappy bucket that contains an appropriate disinfectant.

4. Remember to clean contaminated surfaces with a detergent solution followed by a disinfectant, and then dry the area.

5. Don’t forget that breastfeeding has been proven to help improve children’s immunity.

Why so shy?

There is always a birthday party to go to when you’re a parent. How many of us have had to run helter-skelter to grab a present, get the kids ready and there on time – only to face whimpers such as “Mummy, I’m scared” or “I don’t want to go alone”.

They are usually shy at the beginning and take some time to warm up to the surroundings and people. But once they are warmed up, they are usually fine. Sometimes it takes more time and reassurance. I would have to tell them that there is really nothing to be afraid of or direct their attention to another child who is enjoying herself and say something like ‘Linda is playing with balloons… shall we go over and join her?’

Some Are Born Shy

Psychological studies on temperaments show that babies are born with unique temperaments. This is the individual baby’s behavioural style and emotional response. There are different degrees of shyness, ranging from a child who is fearful of strangers and experiences separation anxiety to one who lacks social interaction skills.

So if these temperaments are inborn, is there really a way to help an inhibited child? Temperament experts believe that adaptive parenting can help a shy child.This is a parenting style where parents remain sensitive and flexible to each child’s signals and needs. Initiating a shy, withdrawn child into new environment may be better done at a slower pace.

Parents also need to be mindful that such children are usually more comfortable with environments where there are stimulus shelters or defensible spaces where they can retreat to, as opposed to a constantly noisy, chaotic environment.

For instance, if a child attends a play group with other children and after a while begins to exhibit discomfort and retreat to a quiet corner with less stimulation and play on his own or read a book.

The parent may then wish to arouse the child’s interest in engaging with the bigger group at a latter time when the child has gained some respite. In other words, build in pockets of temperament and letting the child set his own pace may be more beneficial to his personality development.

Show the way

There are instances of shy children with parents who are the total opposite, and that’s when expectations to be just like mum or dad really add pressure. But what if you are a shy parent yourself?

Timothy shares that he often has to lead by example and tries not to be shy himself as his children are constantly watching him and learning from him.

Grace, who’s daughter is three, feels that one good strategy to demonstrate the correct behaviour is by teaching her daughter some ways to overcome her shyness. “Usually Megan is not very open towards people who she has just met. Sometimes she’ll just look away or stand behind us! So when she does this, we encourage her to say ‘hi’ or shake the person’s hand”. Grace has also seen progress after sending her daughter to play group daily and to children’s church every Sunday, where Megan gets to make more friends, learns songs, listen to stories and take part in activities like art and craft.

By giving her daughter access to different ways of dealing with her shyness when in front of new people, she is helping her child respond in an appropriate manner. But more often than not, parents tend to brush it off by telling the other party that their child is shy.

Although this might be the real reason for a child’s behaviour, it is not advisable to use this label as it can often backfire. The child might withdraw even more or pretend to be shy whenever he or she chooses not to comply.

It is best to be flexible when dealing with any shy children and know the difference between misconduct and a genuine expression of inhibition. Punishing a child who requires more time to adapt to strangers and new environment may be counter-productive, resulting in even more withdrawal.

Talk And Teach

The key to helping a shy child open up is through constant encouragement and communication. Acceptance and valuing your child’s individuality will help you build closer ties with him and help share a more emotionally stable personality in the long run.

Quick Tips From Parents Of Shy Kids

• Be patient with them. Give them the time and space they need to open up.
• Encourage them regularly to help them be less shy. Praise them when they do something that they would not usually do.
• Teach them what to say and do. Lead by example or highlight good and bad examples casually, then compliment or comment on them.
• Don’t push them if they are not ready and never label, scold or belittle them.
• Expose them to more activities and bring them out more often so that they get a chance to interact with other children and learn social skills.

The Clumsy Child

Most children are clumsy sometimes; that is, they might drop something that they were expected to hold on to with their fingers, or trip over an object lying on the floor when they are expected to manoeuvre past it easily. A child is described as ‘clumsy’ when she shows occasional episodes of poor coordination in her fingers, hands, arms or legs.

In recent years, psychologists have studied severe clumsiness (dyspraxia) and found that it affects around 5 per cent of all children. Four times as many boys than girls experience a developmental problem with physical coordination. Scientists link the clumsy child’s weak physical skills to the failure of neurons in the brain to develop properly.

Severe clumsiness affects a child in a number of ways, not just physically. Their self-esteem may also be affected. The typical child ages three or four is quick to recognise that others can catch a ball better than her, hold a crayon better than her, and carry objects from one place to another without letting them slip through her fingers. Then there is the social dimension; for example, she may be left out of team games because her performance is slow and awkward. Over time, this can severely dent her confidence and motivation.

If you are concerned about your child’s coordination skills, consult your doctor. Chances are that your three-year-old’s clumsiness is normal and will improve spontaneously with age. However, if a medical assessment does confirm that dyspraxia underlies her coordination difficulties, then the earlier she gets help for this, the better.

Supporting The Clumsy Child

Here are some techniques to help a clumsy child improve her coordination:

Have realistic expectations:
Children mature at different rates, and yours won’t master a physical skill until she is ready to. Never force your child to be too adventurous on play equipment, in the hopes of improving her coordination skills.

Be patient:
Although some physical acts may seem easy from your point of view, a child who is clumsy will find them to be much more demanding. Try not to get annoyed when she drops a plate or trips over the rug yet again. Remember that she doesn’t do this deliberately.

Provide opportunities for success:
Your clumsy child’s self-confidence lifts every time she masters a task involving coordination, so try to pick activities that are within her capability. Select a task that matches her current ability, but one that also challenges her.

Practise with her:
Most activities for developing physical skills can take place without a lot of equipment. Throwing and catching a ball, running on grass and hopping along the ground are all suitable activities for improving coordination.

Make coordination activities fun:
Your four-year-old learns best when she has fun, not when she is tense and anxious about her performance. Laughing and joking with her as she balances on tiptoes, for instance, will help to put her at ease.

Encourage outdoor play:
Many parks have safe play areas for young children, with lots of climbing equipment made out of smooth wood, safely bolted together. Encourage your child to try this equipment out, but make sure to stand close by to catch her should she fall.

Break physical tasks into stages:
Your child might not realise that every athletic activity is made up of a series of smaller activities, usually in sequence. Help her by identifying these small steps, walking her through them and then teaching her how to master them in proper sequence.

Say that again?

If your child is a slow talker, does that mean there’s something wrong? A speech therapist talks us through the process of how speech and language disorders are formed.

Why is it that some children are born to chatter like monkeys, while others take their time, carefully considering each vowel and consonant? For the many mothers who wonder why their children are slow talker, realisation is tinged with worry – is my child having a speech delay?

* What is a speech and language delay?

A speech delay refers to the acquisition of speech sounds in the correct order, but at a slower rate. This includes disorders like stuttering, where uncontrollable repetitions and blocks break up the normal flow of speech. In the disorder called childhood apraxia of speech, children cannot consistently put a sequence of sounds together to say syllables or words, and there is no neurological reason or muscle weakness. An articulation disorder refers to a condition where a child finds it difficult to for certain speech sounds properly (lisping) or he cannot produce a particular sound (like the ‘y’ sound). And in a phonological disorder, the child can produce a sound correctly but may use it in the wrong position in a word, or in the wrong word. For example, he may use the ‘t’ sound instead of the ‘k’ sound, and so will say ‘tea’ instead of ‘key’. On the other hand, a language delay happens when a child’s language is developing in the right sequence, but at a slower rate, which is common among children with developmental delays or who is mentally retarded. The word ‘language’ refers to the system of expressing and receiving information in a way that is meaningful (things to do with meanings, rather than sounds).

* How often does it happen?

Speech delays occur in up to 10 per cent of children. The most common causes of speech delays include hearing loss, slow development and mental retardation. But there are other causes, like psychological deprivation (where the child doesn’t spend enough time talking with adults), being a twin, autism (a developmental disorder), elective mutism (when the child just doesn’t want to talk) and cerebral palsy, which is a movement disorder caused by brain damage. Out of every 200 children, it is estimated that eight will have articulation disorders, two will have language disorders, two will stutter, and one will suffer from a voice disorder.

Look Out For These Tell-tale Signs

Children aged 1 – 2 years:

• Isn’t using gestures, such as pointing or waving ‘bye-bye’ by 12 months.
• Prefers gestures over vocalisations to communicate by 18 months.
• Has trouble imitating sounds by 18 months.

Children above 2 years:

• Can only imitate speech or actions and doesn’t say words or phrases spontaneously.
• Says only certain sounds or words repeatedly and can’t use oral language to communicate more than his immediate needs.
• Can’t follow simple directions.
• Is not understood more than half of the time.

Children in school:

• Says incorrect speech sounds even after the age of seven.
• Has difficulty understanding and remembering information.
• Has persistent difficulties paying attention in class.
• Has problems describing events or telling stories.

It is important to check your child’s development against language developmental milestones regularly. If you suspect that he may have a speech and /or language problem, consult your paediatrician for a developmental check-up and get a referral to see a speech and language therapist. A speech therapist will do an assessment on your child’s development, language and speech, and provide information, counselling and recommend further help if necessary. If a child does have possible difficulties with his speech, early intervention will better help him achieve his potential.

Parents play a crucial role in setting up a good environment for their child’s speech and language development at home. Tips on how to encourage and develop your child’s language skills:

• Expand on your child’s responses: Repeat what your child says and then add one or two new words. Your child is not expected to repeat what you have said, but you are teaching your child to do more advanced talking. For example, if your child says “play ball”, you can reply and expand it to “let’s play ball” or “mummy/I play ball”.

• Be animated while you talk with your child, so as to make the activities you do together fun.

• Make use of mealtime, bedtime, playtime and bath time as opportunities for language stimulation. Children learn most from play and daily routines.

• Wait for your child to respond rather than rushing in to prompt him with an answer.

• Repeat what your child says to show that you are paying attention and are interested in what he says and does.

• Use simple words and phrases with very young children. For instance, if your toddler points to milk, say “drink milk” or “you want milk?” and not “would you like to drink some milk?”, “tell mummy that you want milk first”.

• Make eye contact with your child when you talk to him.

Are you listening to me?

Isn't it amazing how your child's hearing starts to deteriorate in certain specific ways between the ages of seven and nine? Now she doesn't hear you when you ask her to tidy her room or wash her dirty cup. Strangely though, she hears the start of her favourite television programme despite the fact that she is talking to a friend on her mobile phone at the same time. Children of this age have a remarkable ability to ‘switch off’ when they don’t want to hear something.

SELECTIVE ATTENTION

Psychologists call this ‘selective attention’, because in many instances, your child makes a choice not to respond to you; she chooses to react to some things that she hears while ignoring others. This is not a deliberate, planned process, but is one that happens without her thinking about it at all.

Remember though, that her lack of response could, at times, be genuine reasons. For instance, she may really not have heard you call out to her. Perhaps the sound of your voice was drowned out by the music surging through her iPod earphones. Or maybe she was so absorbed in an activity that she blocked out everything else. Nine-year-olds can be so interested in something that their attention is totally taken up with it, to the complete exclusion of everything else. If you are at all unsure, give your child the benefit of doubt.

IMPROVING LISTENING SKILLS

Here are techniques that you can use to encourage your child to listen to you when you speak to her:

Eliminate distractions: The more distractions surrounding your child, the less likely she is tune in to your comments. Background noise drowns out the sound of your voice, and also wants her to focus on you alone, mute the television or radio.

Use her name: Your child will instinctively turn around when she hears her name, even in circumstances where she would rather continue with her current activity. This is a reflex reaction. When you want her to listen to you, say her name clearly and loudly (without shouting), then pause for a moment or two before continuing with what you want to say to her.

Reduce the distance between you: Your eight-year-old hears you more easily when you are close to her. This is common sense, but human nature is such that parents often shout at the top of their voice when trying to attract their child’s attention, rather than stop what they are doing and walking over to her before they start speaking.

Ask her to repeat: Explain to her “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to repeat it to me when I have finished”. The knowledge that she has to repeat what you are about tp tell her verbally will ensure that she listens, understands and concentrates on your instructions while you are giving them. If you do tell her that you intend to get her to repeat what you have said, make sure you follow through it.

OPTING OUT

If you are sure that your child aged seven to nine deliberately switches off when you try to engage her. Address the issue honestly and directly, without getting angry. Make it clear to her that you think she has deliberately ignored you, and that this upsets you. Explain that when she deliberately doesn’t listen to you, she makes you feel unimportant. Discuss with her how she would feel if you chose to ignore her too. This may make her realise that she needs to be more attentive to you in future.