She mouths everything!

Your one-year-old loves to explore. Her curiosity that that is her in-built need to learn about the world around her, drives her to investigate and discover. And like all budding adventurers, she’ll use any scientific method she knows during her investigations. She’ll touch, she’ll hit, she’ll smell, she’ll stare, she’ll listen, she’ll rub – and she’ll also taste. And it’s this last exploratory tool – her desire to taste – that seems to dominate at this age. Everything she can lay her hands on goes into her mouth.

Why she does it

The problem with ‘mouthing’ is that she doesn’t yet know the potential hazards; her sense of danger doesn’t come until much later, around the age of three or four. So she hasn’t yet learnt, for instance, that an item from the floor is likely to be dirty, or that she could choke from swallowing small toys, or that she might hurt the inside of her mouth if the object has sharp edges. When adults would be disgusted by a foul smell or taste, she is ruled by curiosity and will eagerly mouth all things that come her way. She’s willing to try everything at least once!

Your natural instinct may be to reprimand your toddler for putting inappropriate objects into her mouth, in the hope that this will discourage the habit. Yet it won’t have that effect; it will just upset her. Bear in mind that exploration of this sort is good for her, and that it is her way of finding out about the world around her. Putting everything into her mouth is a normal part of the learning process at this age – she’s going to do it, whether you are pleased with her behaviour or not. Try to strike a balance between allowing this form of discovery and making sure that dangerous objects stay far away from her eager lips.

Keeping her safe

The most important step you can take to prevent an accident arising from your child’s wish to put everything she sees into her mouth, is to buy her sensible, approved toys. There is no point in purchasing a toy or a game that has small bits attached to it, no matter how attractive the item looks to you – your toddler will find a way to detach the small parts of the toy and place them in her mouth.

Buy suitable toys

As a general rule, never buy a toy for her when the packaging advises that it is not suitable for children under the age one. This indicates that the item has been designed for a more mature mind; almost certainly, the item (or parts of it) would also be small enough to fit into a small mouth. That’s why it is best to stick to toys that are suitable for your toddler’s age group.

Clear clutter and small objects

Do your best to keep your home clear of items that can be potential health hazards for a child. For example, don’t leave pins, needles, buttons, bottle tops, pills, marbles or sequins lying within her reach. If it can fit into her mouth, she’ll put it there! Look carefully at her personal space, and ask yourself if there is anything within her reach that is small enough for her to mouth. Remove such items.

Be vigilant

Watch her even more closely once she starts to walk. Be ready to intervene and say no. she needs your guidance at this stage because she hasn’t learnt how to differentiate between safety and danger. Take every small object from her hand, tell her firmly that it is unsafe for her to place it in her mouth, (give her a reassuring cuddle if she cries in response to your justified warning) and then point her towards an area she can explore safely.

Let’s Care And Share

Young children have an innate ability to care for others, and your two-year-old is no exception. For example, he tries to comfort you when he sees that you are upset, and he may be very caring towards his brother or sister. These acts of kindness happen without any pressure from anyone. It is as though a two-year-old intuitively knows when to be caring towards others, when to help them, and when best to offer emotional support.

Despite these natural tendencies towards caring for others however, anti-social behaviour among two-year-olds is also quite common. One reason this happens is that your toddler has many instincts (as well as the instinct to be kind to others), and these instincts compete with one another. For instance, the instinct to satisfy his hunger might be more powerful than the instinct to be caring – so he pushes his friend out of the way in order to grab something he wants.

In addition, your two-year-old is influenced by those around him, especially by you and your spouse. From a very young age, he begins to imitate your actions. And he sees you bickering with each other over issues like washing dishes, or fighting over the choice of television programmes, he’ll likely do the same when he is in a similar situation.
How you can help

The combination of these factors means that probably need to teach your two-year-old to care for others. Here are some suggestions:

Set a good example:
You can’t reasonably expect your toddler to behave in a caring way if you behave selfishly in front of him. Your child models himself on your behaviour, so try to act in a way that you would like your child to imitate. Nobody is perfect, but it’s worth making the effort to allow your child to see you behave caringly.

Praise him for caring:
There will be times when your two-year-old is caring to his friends or to adults. When that happens, tell him how pleased you are with him. Make a big fuss of him for being so kind and give him a big cuddle to confirm your approval. Your positive reaction will encourage him to continue with his caring behaviour in future.

Get him a pet:
You don’t need to get her a dog or a cat, a small pet such as a goldfish or a hamster will do. The basic responsibility of feeding a small pet will teach your child how rewarding it can be to care for the welfare of others. Of course, you will need to supervise him with the pet, but let him feel that he is in charge.

Emphasise that his behaviour has consequences:
Tell him clearly ‘when you hit me, it hurts me’ or ‘when you clear your toys away, it makes me happy.’ Statements like these help your two-year-old understand the connection between his behaviour and its effects. This way, he begins to realise that caring for others has an immediate impact.

Give him opportunities to be helpful:
Even a two-year-old can be given responsibility for basic household chores such as putting a toy back in the cupboard or placing a piece of paper onto the bin. Giving your growing child minor duties like these will teach him to think about others and be considerate to them.

Encourage him to share:
Your toddler might not like to share the sweets or toys he has, clinging desperately to them whenever another child approaches. However, you can teach him by encouraging him to share with you and his siblings at home. The more he practises sharing the things he has, the more willing he’ll be to share with others.