Young children have an innate ability to care for others, and your two-year-old is no exception. For example, he tries to comfort you when he sees that you are upset, and he may be very caring towards his brother or sister. These acts of kindness happen without any pressure from anyone. It is as though a two-year-old intuitively knows when to be caring towards others, when to help them, and when best to offer emotional support.
Despite these natural tendencies towards caring for others however, anti-social behaviour among two-year-olds is also quite common. One reason this happens is that your toddler has many instincts (as well as the instinct to be kind to others), and these instincts compete with one another. For instance, the instinct to satisfy his hunger might be more powerful than the instinct to be caring – so he pushes his friend out of the way in order to grab something he wants.
In addition, your two-year-old is influenced by those around him, especially by you and your spouse. From a very young age, he begins to imitate your actions. And he sees you bickering with each other over issues like washing dishes, or fighting over the choice of television programmes, he’ll likely do the same when he is in a similar situation.
How you can help
The combination of these factors means that probably need to teach your two-year-old to care for others. Here are some suggestions:
Set a good example:
You can’t reasonably expect your toddler to behave in a caring way if you behave selfishly in front of him. Your child models himself on your behaviour, so try to act in a way that you would like your child to imitate. Nobody is perfect, but it’s worth making the effort to allow your child to see you behave caringly.
Praise him for caring:
There will be times when your two-year-old is caring to his friends or to adults. When that happens, tell him how pleased you are with him. Make a big fuss of him for being so kind and give him a big cuddle to confirm your approval. Your positive reaction will encourage him to continue with his caring behaviour in future.
Get him a pet:
You don’t need to get her a dog or a cat, a small pet such as a goldfish or a hamster will do. The basic responsibility of feeding a small pet will teach your child how rewarding it can be to care for the welfare of others. Of course, you will need to supervise him with the pet, but let him feel that he is in charge.
Emphasise that his behaviour has consequences:
Tell him clearly ‘when you hit me, it hurts me’ or ‘when you clear your toys away, it makes me happy.’ Statements like these help your two-year-old understand the connection between his behaviour and its effects. This way, he begins to realise that caring for others has an immediate impact.
Give him opportunities to be helpful:
Even a two-year-old can be given responsibility for basic household chores such as putting a toy back in the cupboard or placing a piece of paper onto the bin. Giving your growing child minor duties like these will teach him to think about others and be considerate to them.
Encourage him to share:
Your toddler might not like to share the sweets or toys he has, clinging desperately to them whenever another child approaches. However, you can teach him by encouraging him to share with you and his siblings at home. The more he practises sharing the things he has, the more willing he’ll be to share with others.
Despite these natural tendencies towards caring for others however, anti-social behaviour among two-year-olds is also quite common. One reason this happens is that your toddler has many instincts (as well as the instinct to be kind to others), and these instincts compete with one another. For instance, the instinct to satisfy his hunger might be more powerful than the instinct to be caring – so he pushes his friend out of the way in order to grab something he wants.
In addition, your two-year-old is influenced by those around him, especially by you and your spouse. From a very young age, he begins to imitate your actions. And he sees you bickering with each other over issues like washing dishes, or fighting over the choice of television programmes, he’ll likely do the same when he is in a similar situation.
How you can help
The combination of these factors means that probably need to teach your two-year-old to care for others. Here are some suggestions:
Set a good example:
You can’t reasonably expect your toddler to behave in a caring way if you behave selfishly in front of him. Your child models himself on your behaviour, so try to act in a way that you would like your child to imitate. Nobody is perfect, but it’s worth making the effort to allow your child to see you behave caringly.
Praise him for caring:
There will be times when your two-year-old is caring to his friends or to adults. When that happens, tell him how pleased you are with him. Make a big fuss of him for being so kind and give him a big cuddle to confirm your approval. Your positive reaction will encourage him to continue with his caring behaviour in future.
Get him a pet:
You don’t need to get her a dog or a cat, a small pet such as a goldfish or a hamster will do. The basic responsibility of feeding a small pet will teach your child how rewarding it can be to care for the welfare of others. Of course, you will need to supervise him with the pet, but let him feel that he is in charge.
Emphasise that his behaviour has consequences:
Tell him clearly ‘when you hit me, it hurts me’ or ‘when you clear your toys away, it makes me happy.’ Statements like these help your two-year-old understand the connection between his behaviour and its effects. This way, he begins to realise that caring for others has an immediate impact.
Give him opportunities to be helpful:
Even a two-year-old can be given responsibility for basic household chores such as putting a toy back in the cupboard or placing a piece of paper onto the bin. Giving your growing child minor duties like these will teach him to think about others and be considerate to them.
Encourage him to share:
Your toddler might not like to share the sweets or toys he has, clinging desperately to them whenever another child approaches. However, you can teach him by encouraging him to share with you and his siblings at home. The more he practises sharing the things he has, the more willing he’ll be to share with others.
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