Bedwetting

Bedwetting, also known as nocturnal enuresis, is common among pre-schoolers. If you check with your mum, she might reveal that you too passed urine during sleep when you were young.

That’s because genetics can play a role in bedwetting as it has been found that there is a greater incidence of bedwetting in children whose parents had done the same. If both parents had a positive family history, the child will have 77 per cent chance of enuresis and if one parent had bedwetting history, there will be a 44per cent chance.

More Common In Boys

Bedwetting is more common in boys than girls since boys develop slower physically. A slow developing bladder muscle contracts and passes out the urine when the bladder is only half full. Large quantities of urine can be produced at night due to a lower ADH (anti-diuretic hormone) level since the mechanism that tells the body to produce less urine during sleep isn’t fully developed yet.

Furthermore, these children often sleep so deeply that they are not aware of the message sent to the brain, and therefore did not respond when the bladder is full. But rest assured that this type of bedwetting will be outgrown with time as your child develops physically.

Other Causes

Caffeinated sodas such as Coke and Pepsi have a diuretic effect which increase urine output. Thus avoid letting your child drink large amounts of fluid, in particular sodas, two hours before bedtime, so that the bladder can be fully emptied before sleep. But be sure that your child does not go to bed thirsty or dehydrated.

Your child may also wet the bed if he is stressed or emotionally upset during events such as separation of parents or entry to a new school. Chat with him about it and address the issue troubling him.

Dealing With It Naturally

Most kids outgrow bedwetting on their own. In the initial period, you may consider purchasing reusable or disposable absorbent undergarments and protect the bed with a moisture-proof mattress cover.

There are also discreet-looking diapers available that can get your child through this stage of development without embarrassing him. They look and feel just like a regular underwear, but are designed especially for bedwetting.

If your child is old enough, you can empower your child by involving him in the clean-up process. Keep clean pyjamas and bed-sheets by the bedside so that he can change if necessary. He can also help to carrying his soiled sheets to the laundry room in the morning. but be sure not to treat cleaning up as a punishment for the child.

In order to help him stay dry, you can also wake your child and help him to the bathroom right before you go to bed and periodically throughout the night. Lastly, bladder-stretching exercises can help your child develop greater bladder control. Ask your child to control urinating during the day by postponing it. The bladder can therefore learn to stretch and hold more urine at night.

Beat The Buzzer

If the problem still persists in older children above 7 years old, the use of a moisture alarm can help. The alarm consists of a sensor that attaches to the clothing and is set off when the child begins to wet the bed. Encourage your child to ‘beat the buzzer’ by waking up when there is an urge to urinate. If the alarm sounds, he should be taught to get out of bed and go to the toilet.

You can also provide a night light near the bed for easy movement. This slowly conditions the brain to respond appropriately during sleep. However, this method may cause sleep disturbances and stress. You should consider discussing with your doctor and explaining to your child before using it.

Medication

As a last resort, your doctor may prescribe medications such as imipramine (an antidepressant) which relaxes the bladder. The drug can cause serious side effects and needs to be closely monitored. Desmopressin, a synthetic version of the ADH, can also be taken as a nasal spray or tablet and helps the child to produce less urine.

While this medication is much safer than imipramine, it can still cause some side effects. Furthermore, medications provide short-term treatment but not a long-term cure. And bedwetting usually recurs when the medication is stopped. Therefore behavioural therapy is usually more helpful.

Esteem Issues

Children are often embarrassed by their bedwetting condition and tend to suffer from low self-esteem. Be aware that your child can be greatly affected by your attitude. Offer support and encouragement to reassure your child that the problem will get better in time.

You can even develop a reward system to encourage your child, such as stickers for the dry nights, and talk to him about the advantages of potty training to become a ‘big’ boy or girl.

You should let your child know that the problem is just a normal stage in life. Tell him that Mummy (or Daddy) also wet the bed when you were young.

Protecting your baby

Everything is in place, perfectly clean and in order, and then a beautiful, wailing, soiling baby arrives! The reason we have to be cautious around babies and young children is that they’re more susceptible to infections because their immune system isn’t fully developed. And germs can spread from babies to the rest of your family, too.

Since the beginning of time, germs have surrounded us – and today are no different despite all our modern conveniences. Germs exist on our bodies and clothes, in our water, air, food and soil, and virtually every surface we come into contact with. Whilst that sounds frightening, the majority of these germs will do us absolutely no harm. But when they are in the wrong place, at the wrong time, germs can cause serious illness. But that doesn’t mean living in a bubble!

First focus on these areas in your home:

• Toys, playpens, high chair and cots.
• Food preparation surfaces – Care must be taken to ensure these surfaces are clean when preparing your baby’s meals.
• Laundry – Baby’s clothing and cot linens, especially if they’ve come in contact with faeces or vomit, should be washed to at least 60 degrees Celsius. If the manufacture’s guidelines require a lower water temperature, consider adding a laundry disinfectant in order to ensure that all the germs are killed.
• The nursery – Pay close attention area to the nappy-changing area and ensure that this area is cleaned and disinfected immediately after use.
• Floors and furnishings – Particularly once your baby becomes more mobile and begins to explore your home.

Once this is taken care of, you need to take special care in the cleaning and sterilising anything that goes into your baby’s mouth, including feeding bottles and teats, pacifiers, teething aids and any other feeding equipment. Always wash your hands before handling these items. Make certain that your bottlebrush is clean, take bottles apart before cleaning and disinfecting and, when sterilising, follow the manufacturer’s instructions. Remember to use cooled boiled water to rinse off any solution.

That’s the home taken care of, but what about keeping your baby clean and healthy? Here are five key considerations.

1. Because your baby’s skin is delicate and quite vulnerable, it’s important to keep skin clean and dry, always making sure to change nappies as soon as they become wet or soiled.

2. When bathing your baby or cleaning during a nappy change, if the baby is less than one month old, use only clean warm water to wash baby’s skin. Babies older than a month can be washed using a mild baby soap and warm water – never hot. Always make sure to dry your baby’s skin thoroughly before putting on a new nappy.

3. Pay particular attention when changing nappies as germs can spread that can harm both of you. Once you’ve finished the nappy change, you should properly dispose of the dirty nappy, using a nappy bag and then place it in a separate plastic rubbish bag. If you’re using re-usable nappies, place the soiled nappy in a nappy bucket that contains an appropriate disinfectant.

4. Remember to clean contaminated surfaces with a detergent solution followed by a disinfectant, and then dry the area.

5. Don’t forget that breastfeeding has been proven to help improve children’s immunity.

Why so shy?

There is always a birthday party to go to when you’re a parent. How many of us have had to run helter-skelter to grab a present, get the kids ready and there on time – only to face whimpers such as “Mummy, I’m scared” or “I don’t want to go alone”.

They are usually shy at the beginning and take some time to warm up to the surroundings and people. But once they are warmed up, they are usually fine. Sometimes it takes more time and reassurance. I would have to tell them that there is really nothing to be afraid of or direct their attention to another child who is enjoying herself and say something like ‘Linda is playing with balloons… shall we go over and join her?’

Some Are Born Shy

Psychological studies on temperaments show that babies are born with unique temperaments. This is the individual baby’s behavioural style and emotional response. There are different degrees of shyness, ranging from a child who is fearful of strangers and experiences separation anxiety to one who lacks social interaction skills.

So if these temperaments are inborn, is there really a way to help an inhibited child? Temperament experts believe that adaptive parenting can help a shy child.This is a parenting style where parents remain sensitive and flexible to each child’s signals and needs. Initiating a shy, withdrawn child into new environment may be better done at a slower pace.

Parents also need to be mindful that such children are usually more comfortable with environments where there are stimulus shelters or defensible spaces where they can retreat to, as opposed to a constantly noisy, chaotic environment.

For instance, if a child attends a play group with other children and after a while begins to exhibit discomfort and retreat to a quiet corner with less stimulation and play on his own or read a book.

The parent may then wish to arouse the child’s interest in engaging with the bigger group at a latter time when the child has gained some respite. In other words, build in pockets of temperament and letting the child set his own pace may be more beneficial to his personality development.

Show the way

There are instances of shy children with parents who are the total opposite, and that’s when expectations to be just like mum or dad really add pressure. But what if you are a shy parent yourself?

Timothy shares that he often has to lead by example and tries not to be shy himself as his children are constantly watching him and learning from him.

Grace, who’s daughter is three, feels that one good strategy to demonstrate the correct behaviour is by teaching her daughter some ways to overcome her shyness. “Usually Megan is not very open towards people who she has just met. Sometimes she’ll just look away or stand behind us! So when she does this, we encourage her to say ‘hi’ or shake the person’s hand”. Grace has also seen progress after sending her daughter to play group daily and to children’s church every Sunday, where Megan gets to make more friends, learns songs, listen to stories and take part in activities like art and craft.

By giving her daughter access to different ways of dealing with her shyness when in front of new people, she is helping her child respond in an appropriate manner. But more often than not, parents tend to brush it off by telling the other party that their child is shy.

Although this might be the real reason for a child’s behaviour, it is not advisable to use this label as it can often backfire. The child might withdraw even more or pretend to be shy whenever he or she chooses not to comply.

It is best to be flexible when dealing with any shy children and know the difference between misconduct and a genuine expression of inhibition. Punishing a child who requires more time to adapt to strangers and new environment may be counter-productive, resulting in even more withdrawal.

Talk And Teach

The key to helping a shy child open up is through constant encouragement and communication. Acceptance and valuing your child’s individuality will help you build closer ties with him and help share a more emotionally stable personality in the long run.

Quick Tips From Parents Of Shy Kids

• Be patient with them. Give them the time and space they need to open up.
• Encourage them regularly to help them be less shy. Praise them when they do something that they would not usually do.
• Teach them what to say and do. Lead by example or highlight good and bad examples casually, then compliment or comment on them.
• Don’t push them if they are not ready and never label, scold or belittle them.
• Expose them to more activities and bring them out more often so that they get a chance to interact with other children and learn social skills.